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Few things are more outrageous about our criminal justice system than the protection of “Confidential Informants” by law enforcement officers and prosecutors in exchange for their “assistance” in prosecuting people they claimed were their friends. It has been noted by the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals:

Few things are more repugnant to the constitutional expectations of our criminal justice system than covert perjury, and especially perjury that flows from a concerted effort by rewarded criminals to frame a defendant. The ultimate mission of the system upon which we rely to protect the liberty of the accused as well as the welfare of society is to ascertain the factual truth, and to do so in a manner that comports with due process of law as defined by our Constitution. This important mission is utterly derailed by unchecked lying witnesses, and by any law enforcement officer or prosecutor who finds it tactically advantageous to turn a blind eye to the manifest potential for malevolent disinformation.

  1. Mariana Islands v. Bowie, 243 F.3d 1109, 1114 (9th Cir. 2001) (emphasis added).

Nevertheless, police and prosecutors continue to rely on snitches, not only rewarding them for providing information to hurt those they pretended to be friends with, but also protecting them from prosecution when they victimize others (as long as the police and prosecutors don’t think the snitch’s victims are “important” members of society). The idea that a rat’s testimony can be reliable is a mockery of common sense; yet our system depends upon it too much for the courts to do away with it entirely.

Whatever the police wish to call them, confidential informants are traitors and liars by their very nature. There are few criminals deserving of disgust more than the snitch. Snitches hurt our society by committing their crimes and hurt the people they pretend to be friends with by helping to put them in jail. Alija Izetbegovic said “[t]he ninth, the worst circle of the Inferno

– Dante intended it for traitors.” Corneliu Zelea Codreanu said “[t]he first and fiercest punishment ought to fall first on the traitor, second on the enemy. If I had but one bullet and I were faced by both an enemy and a traitor, I would let the traitor have it.”

In my nearly twenty years of practicing law I have uncovered outrageous cover-ups to protect informants so they could continue to lie for the government and betray their friends. I have also represented victims of violent crimes and sexual assault whose attackers were not even arrested because they were “confidential informants.”

I consider the rats I have encountered, and the police and prosecutors who protect them, to be my enemies. I am therefore introducing the Friends Agreement.

An ancient Arabic proverb proclaims “the enemy of my enemy is my friend.” If you have been the victim of a confidential informant you are my friend. Whether they’ve set you up for the police or testified against you in court; or if they simply victimized you and went unpunished because of their police protection you are eligible for the “Friends’ Agreement.”

If you are being prosecuted based on a snitch’s betrayal and/or testimony against you I will represent you in the case for 33% less than my standard fee.

If you are being prosecuted because you are accused of having harmed a rat I will represent you in the case for 33% less than my standard fee.

If you have been attacked, raped, robbed or otherwise injured by an informant and the police and prosecutors won’t bring charges against them because they are protected by law enforcement I will represent you for free in attempting to bring them to justice and to keep you protected.

To qualify for the Friends’ Agreement you must provide my office with reliable information that your enemy is an actual confidential informant. All consultations are completely confidential and protected by attorney-client privilege. If your enemy is a snitch, you are my friend.